


Never Again

by KelpietheThundergod



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 6x20, Angst, M/M, The Man Who Would Be King
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 17:26:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelpietheThundergod/pseuds/KelpietheThundergod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is suddenly, painfully, aware of the space between them. It's probably less than two feet, but somehow it seems like a deep gulf that goes deeper than deep, and gets wider every second they don't talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Again

**Never again**

 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Lyrics taken from The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

A/N: Takes place during Cas' night visit in 6x20. Yes, this episode haunts me.

A/N: Beta'ed by the wonderful Leah Child. All remaining mistakes are my own. Cross-posted to ff.net and the dean/cas community on LJ

 

_Break the silence_  
Damn the dark, damn the light  
  
Dean is suddenly, painfully, aware of the space between them. It's probably less than two feet, but somehow it seems like a deep gulf that goes deeper than deep, and gets wider every second they don't talk. He can't even say whether it's the shadows or the light creeping in from outside that's making him feel like he can't reach the angel anymore, not even with outstretched hands.

His gaze flickers back up to Castiel, whose eyes have never left him. Those eyes seem to hold a million contradictory things in them at once, and their focus on Dean is as staggering and irrefutable as ever.

Yet, there is a strange mixture of regret and finality in them that burn a cold realization through Dean's heart, that maybe the angel already knows – no, has already _decided_ how this is going to play out.

It's making his stomach churn with anger, though his voice sounds brittle and vulnerable when he says:

“Tell me what this is really about, Cas.“

(It echoes through his head: _“I'm doing this for you, Dean”)_

The angel's eyes glitter in the darkness but his tone remains as unrelenting as steel.

“I already did.“

Dean forces a breath into his lungs, runs a hand over his face. It feels cold.

“No, you gave me an ultimatum where both sides end in _madness_. Stopping you? Madness. Believing you? That nothing bad will happen? That you're doing this for _me_?! Madness.“

The angel steps closer, his stance suddenly threatening.

“Why? Why are you so certain you _know how I feel_? This is not your place, Dean.“

“Then it should be!“

Before he knows it, Dean has taken a step forward, breathing heavily. Realizing this, he closes his eyes, unclenches his fists. The angel remains unfaced.

They don't move and yet the gulf is getting deeper and deeper still.

Panicking, Dean takes a deep breath, tries to get his thoughts in order, his heart to slow down.

I'm loosing him, he thinks, and then, no, I'm not, I'm not, dammit!

“Then tell me. Tell me what -“

“No.“

The angel tears his gaze away abruptly, steps back from Dean.

“It's too late. I should have known.“

 

_And if you don't love me now  
You will never love me again _

 

He focuses on Dean again, then. And from that moment on, Dean is no longer sure who is in front of him.

“Cas?“

 

_I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain_

 

“Come on man,“ he tries, desperately, “when have we ever played by the rules? We never gave up, we never -“

 

“Yes, Dean. And I gave you a choice. Never again. If this is how you feel now, it will never change.“

 

And with that, he vanishes.

 

_Chain...keeps us together_

 

Dean stares at the empty spot for what seems like hours.

There is a tugging in his soul – he recognizes it, but when he reaches out to it, lets it flood into him, the warm and light and safety he, _foolishly_ , expects, is instead an empty void, sucking his life out like a black hole. He cuts the connection abruptly and sinks shuddering to his knees in the dark.

He still hears him saying: _Never again._

 

 

 


End file.
